A term used to define an unmarried young woman (but can be a woman of any age) who has had a child. As mentioned before in another definition, most of the time it is used for when it was simply a sexual relationship, compared to ex-wife or girlfriend. Usually this has a negative connotation, a lot of baby mamas are seen as desperate, gold digging, emotionally starved, shady women who had a baby out of spite or to keep a man. Sometimes they may act like this because of missed child support payments, unfulfilled promises by the father, or convenient sex by the father. Either or both may exist in any situation. For example: Joe didn't have any relationship with that chick, she was the "other woman" who ended up being his baby mama. 'Maybe Andy's baby mama is pissed because he said he was taking his sons to get a haircut but instead ended up playing dominoes with his boys.' Or.... 'Tiffany is a greedy baby mama; she is using her child support payments to buy her new boyfriend some speakers for his car.' So, if that is a BabyMama...What is a good BabyMama? ...I got told once by this friend of mine, "Charise, You're a good BabyMama! You do everything on your own and you don't ask that Ni**a for nothing!" Why? Because I was not holding my daughter's father to his responsibility? I was not asking him for the support he should have been offering? Because when his current girl called my phone for him to pick up the girls I didn't trip? There is nothing good about that! Being in my unenlightened state of mind and very immature. I took if for a compliment. I was forgetting that I was really allowing my pride to cheat my daughter's out of a real relationships with their fathers....I am keeping it real. I was catching cases just so I could declare that I did it ALL on my own without the support of my daughters father! So, I could be called a Good BabyMama... I wasn't blocking a relationship between my daughters and their dads...I just wasn't promoting it either... I've now learned that it is pivotal for a young girl to have a relationship with her father. It shapes how she views herself through the eyes of a male figure for the rest of her life! I thought that it was that a father didn't value a daughter because I felt like I not loved because of the absence of my own father. I must have subconsciously thought that my value was less...because he left me and never looked back. I guess I was trying to shelter my daughters from a an inevitable truth....Or, at least I thought it was true. While on Oprah Dr. Meg Meeker,Talked about the bond that exists between fathers and their daughters is a very special one. Holly and Rodney talk with Dr. Meeker about the importance of father-daughter relationships and about her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know. Dr. Meeker says. Dr. Meeker says a girl's first experience of love with her dad puts a template over her heart on what male love is all about. "If there is positive male experience in her early years, she is going to do much better," Dr. Meeker says. "If she has a bad experience when she is young, she is going to be very put off by all male figures in her life. That's the power of a dad." Instead of being a Good BabyMama and doing what I think is right for me to feel good or to show my ex that I don't need him, I am focusing on just being a good Motherby doing what is best for my daughters.....I liked this poem so, I wanted to share it with ya'll, my Sisters... A mother is someone to shelter and guide us, To love us, whatever we do, With a warm understanding and infinite patience And wonderful gentleness, too. How often a mother means swift reassurance In soothing our small, childish fears, How tenderly mothers watch over their children And treasure them all through the years! The heart of a mother is full of forgiveness For any mistake, big or small, And generous always in helping her family, Whose needs she has placed above all. - (katherine davis) Visit us online at www.thedaughtersofruth.org | ||
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Are you A Good BabyMama or A Good Mother?
Okay, What is a Baby Mama? Well The Urban Dictionary puts it like this:
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Healing
I've always love listening to Lauryn Hill. I feel in some connected to her. We are both born on the same day. We both have a daughter named Selah. BTW I didn't copy her, I am not obsessed... (My daughter was born first) ...
I really wish she would come back and say something to us...The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill ministered to us in finding out where our misconception of love originated...Since that album and artful realization. I have made peace with my past, healed, gotten hurt again, healed, "went crazy"...got my mind back and now I am here...
Me and Kizzie used to ride to this song... On repeat, She would melodically heal me with the words that fostered acceptance in the fact that I am human who is prone to certain life lessons. The life lessons I often labeled as 'mistakes'...
Lauryn sang" As I look at what I've done. The type of life I have lived. How many things I pray the father will forgive"
The she jumped right into it..."One situation involved a young man...he was the ocean and I was the sand..."
It was not our "Anthem"...It was our freedom song...to free to love and be loved to heal and be healed......to learn when to hold on and when to LET GO..
Why do we never want to let go? I have to take some responsibility in this. Why do I NEVER SEEM TO LET GO? After 15 years my ex can still provoke me to tears..."I used to love him...but now I don't.." If that is so, why am I still showing evidence that I care. I need to let go of what he said, what he did.....I'll come back to that.
Too often do we neglect to allow ourselves the time it takes to heal after losing in a relationship....We worry about the kids, the finances, the house...who get the dog?!
But, never about ourselves..
I have to come to peace with the fact that EVERYTHING he ever promised to me, It was the judge that granted to me it in the end.. LOL...funny now but not then.
He lost. I did not. ...."See, I see him sometimes and the look in his eyes ..is one of a man who's lost treasures untold. See...my heart is gone and I took back my soul...and totally gave my CREATOR control!"
I am a child of the Most High God. I was never built to stay broken. I could be broken. But, that is so God could prove that no matter what broke me..he could always and would always put me back together again.
I really wish she would come back and say something to us...The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill ministered to us in finding out where our misconception of love originated...Since that album and artful realization. I have made peace with my past, healed, gotten hurt again, healed, "went crazy"...got my mind back and now I am here...
Me and Kizzie used to ride to this song... On repeat, She would melodically heal me with the words that fostered acceptance in the fact that I am human who is prone to certain life lessons. The life lessons I often labeled as 'mistakes'...
Lauryn sang" As I look at what I've done. The type of life I have lived. How many things I pray the father will forgive"
The she jumped right into it..."One situation involved a young man...he was the ocean and I was the sand..."
It was not our "Anthem"...It was our freedom song...to free to love and be loved to heal and be healed......to learn when to hold on and when to LET GO..
Why do we never want to let go? I have to take some responsibility in this. Why do I NEVER SEEM TO LET GO? After 15 years my ex can still provoke me to tears..."I used to love him...but now I don't.." If that is so, why am I still showing evidence that I care. I need to let go of what he said, what he did.....I'll come back to that.
Too often do we neglect to allow ourselves the time it takes to heal after losing in a relationship....We worry about the kids, the finances, the house...who get the dog?!
But, never about ourselves..
I have to come to peace with the fact that EVERYTHING he ever promised to me, It was the judge that granted to me it in the end.. LOL...funny now but not then.
He lost. I did not. ...."See, I see him sometimes and the look in his eyes ..is one of a man who's lost treasures untold. See...my heart is gone and I took back my soul...and totally gave my CREATOR control!"
I am a child of the Most High God. I was never built to stay broken. I could be broken. But, that is so God could prove that no matter what broke me..he could always and would always put me back together again.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Look what I recieved the other day
Hey Hunny,
Long time no talk to......I'll get straight to the point:
The truth is, Identity theft accounted for some $52.6 billion of losses in the preceding year alone and affected more than 9.91 million Americans.
Statistically speaking, You personally know at least 5 people who has suffered from the Identity Theft crisis in America.
Did you or someone you know lose their Home? Family? Job? Security? Lifestyle? as a result of Identity Theft?
Here’s a few things you can do immediately STOP Identity Theft!
1. Go to www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/thedaughtersofruthi Claim your FREE Credit Report and Protect your entire family.
2. Tell EVERYONE YOU KNOW! You can start by just forwarding this email to family and friends. They can go to www.thedaughtersofruth.buildlastingsuccess.com/goland9 and I will personally call them back. Or, you can reach me directly at 510-860-7728 at anytime.
3. Educate yourself. Prepaid Legal Services has been around for 35 years with their network of Lawyers throughout the U.S. and Canada helping people like you and me protect our rights. With Prepaid Legal Services I am earning a living by protecting myself and those around me. And you can too!
Click to find out more (or copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://www.thedaughtersofruth.buildlastingsuccess.com/goland9
Contact me via eMail: thedaughtersofruth@buildlastingsuccess.com
Click to find out more (or copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://www.thedaughtersofrruth.buildlastingsuccess.com/goland9
If being an Associate like me is not for you. I know protecting yourself and your family is.
So, if nothing else, Be sure to visit www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/thedaughtersofruthi and get started with Identity Theft Shield from Prepaidlegal Services, Inc. and claim your FREE Credit Report.
Long time no talk to......I'll get straight to the point:
The truth is, Identity theft accounted for some $52.6 billion of losses in the preceding year alone and affected more than 9.91 million Americans.
Statistically speaking, You personally know at least 5 people who has suffered from the Identity Theft crisis in America.
Did you or someone you know lose their Home? Family? Job? Security? Lifestyle? as a result of Identity Theft?
Here’s a few things you can do immediately STOP Identity Theft!
1. Go to www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/thedaughtersofruthi Claim your FREE Credit Report and Protect your entire family.
2. Tell EVERYONE YOU KNOW! You can start by just forwarding this email to family and friends. They can go to www.thedaughtersofruth.buildlastingsuccess.com/goland9 and I will personally call them back. Or, you can reach me directly at 510-860-7728 at anytime.
3. Educate yourself. Prepaid Legal Services has been around for 35 years with their network of Lawyers throughout the U.S. and Canada helping people like you and me protect our rights. With Prepaid Legal Services I am earning a living by protecting myself and those around me. And you can too!
Click to find out more (or copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://www.thedaughtersofruth.buildlastingsuccess.com/goland9
Contact me via eMail: thedaughtersofruth@buildlastingsuccess.com
Click to find out more (or copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://www.thedaughtersofrruth.buildlastingsuccess.com/goland9
If being an Associate like me is not for you. I know protecting yourself and your family is.
So, if nothing else, Be sure to visit www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/thedaughtersofruthi and get started with Identity Theft Shield from Prepaidlegal Services, Inc. and claim your FREE Credit Report.
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